Hmm...
It still doesn't feel right.
The draft of Kanade's next song had this clarity or transparency to it, which gave it this really gentle feel...
So I need to find a way to make this girl's face reflect that. It needs to exude gentleness and kindness somehow...
Ugh...! But I can't figure out how!
(*Sigh*
It's happening again...)
(I have this perfect picture of what to draw in my head, but it's like the more I draw, the more I deviate from it...)
I'm starting to lose focus too...
I think I'll log onto Nightcord.
It's a little early, but Kanade should be there.
<Hello?>
<Hello.>
<Oh, Yuki, you're here.
Wait, is it just you?>
<K was here until just now, but went to get food.>
<Okay. How about Amia?>
<Amia should be back soon.
K said, “Amia's taking a bath.”>
<Oh, okay.>
<If that's all, I'll be muting myself.>
<Be my guest. I logged on to take a quick break, so I'll be back at it soon.>
<Okay, going on mute.>
(I've gotten pretty used to talking to Mafuyu in her current state too.)
(Now that I know what she's been through, I sort of have to rethink what my boundaries are...)
(At the same time, I'm more used to the curt and blunt version of her as opposed to the polite honor student.)
Maybe actually seeing and talking to Mafuyu in person is why I feel this way...
But she also turned out to be OWN.
Talk about a shocker...
(However, based on what Kanade said, the first song Mafuyu ever made was her arrangement of one of Kanade's old songs.)
(She essentially had zero musical knowledge, made her own version of a song and ended up becoming OWN.)
(That might just be a testament to her having all this latent talent hidden away until now...)
<My mom asked me what I wanted as a graduation gift but didn't have an immediate answer.>
<But what made me pause was hearing how, “Nothing's going to change...”>
<That gave me the impression that I'd have to live each day feeling nothing at all during high school, university and even beyond that...>
<But...>
<K's song made me think otherwise...>
(She talked about that like it was just a matter of fact...)
(But I can't help but wonder if a part of her was trying to break free of all that. I mean, she went through the trouble of making her own version of Kanade's song...)
(Breaking free...)
(Is that why her music as OWN hit me so hard?)
<The first song Yuki posted definitely felt a bit rough around the edges...>
<But it also made things so clear.>
<A world of nothing but pure despair...
Or rather, it's desperately empty...>
<That's likely why I was compelled to try and cast some light on it with another song.>
(So Kanade says...
What was Mafuyu's first song like?)
...
<Can I ask you a question, Yuki...?>
I'm glad she still had it saved.
(It probably would've bugged me to no end and kept me from finishing this illustration if I didn't ask.)
Alright, let's give it a listen...
(Kanade was right...
This sounds so amateur compared to what she can do now.)
(But...)
(How do I describe this feeling...?
It's like I'm being frozen from the inside...)
(Is this that “emptiness” she was talking about? Is this what she wanted to cast a light on...?)
Light...
——♪ ——♪
She was my light that time...
...
Anyway!
I need to get back to work.
<Thanks for sharing that with me, Yuki. It'll help a lot.>
<You're welcome.>
Alright, this thing needs to have more clarity, but also feels kind and gentle because of it...
I have to figure out a way to match the theme of Kanade's song better.
And right now, this isn't doing it any justice.
It's time for an overhaul.
There has to be a better way of illustrating what's going on with this song!